Driving

Sage Throgmorton Wallop-Wallop II (aka Dad the magistrate) sent me the following in response to my original email about getting banned from driving.

Dear Throgmorton Jnr,

Three weeks gone already. It will soon be the end of January.

I liked your letter re the case. I can picture it exactly. For most of the defendants, such as yourself, it is the first time they have been in court. For the magistrates, they have seen it hundreds of times. Mind you, we don't see what goes on outside the courtroom.

'Grey' is the court Clerk or Legal Advisor, and was there to help you as you were not represented.

Would you have got off the ban if you were represented? I doubt it. It would have been a £250 gamble and the points would have stayed with you until they became three years old. As it is, although your new licence will show the points you have already, they will not be relevant for 'totting' purposes. Remember to apply for a new licence one month before the ban ends. You are not allowed to drive legally until you have your new licence. Now is the time when you find who your real friends are.

Seriously, though, do not be tempted to drive whilst disqualified. The penalties are not as severe as they were three or four years ago. Then, it was prison nearly every time. Now, unless it is linked with another offence e.g. drink driving, you will get a Community Penalty which will probably be unpaid work but may include a curfew or be made to attend a course on driving. It is likely your ban will be extended. In your case, if you commit any offence within three months of the court appearance, you will be liable to be punished for the speeding offence as well.

Just to remind you, your car must be insured even if remains parked in the road for the next six months. Otherwise you are liable for a £200 fixed penalty fine and six points on your licence, and these points will stay with you after the ban is over.

Trying to sign of in a lighter vein, you could become a drug dealer and drive a stolen car with new plates and a false address but, when you are caught, Severe and Portly will be replaced by a man in fancy dress with a wig and he will neither apologise nor smile as he sends you down for five years.

Now you know where I get my sense of humour from :-)