Leslie

In the beginning there was Brighton LeRoc. Ok, so not actually when earth was still warm, but when I started dancing: about 10 years ago.

As an innocent-before-my-years type I fell in love with almost every woman immediately, but that's another story.

No, I want to tell you about the "Flip Flop" - or the "Brighton Sway" as it was known in every other dance club in the South:

Start with the woman facing you, right to right-hand grip: beat 1. step away, 2. bring her towards you and turning, so her back ends up basketed against your front, and grasp her left hand. 3. both sway back, with the right foot, down and up. 4. sway forward down and up. 5. project her to the left. 6. bring back to your front. repeat beats 3 to 6 three times and exit.

Intermediate move, takes about 20 mins to teach a whole class. Kindof a fun move as the cuddly stuff gets everyone giggling.

No worries.

So three months in was my first freestyle night and I'm dancing with Leslie. Ah Leslie, slightly older, nicely buxom and a lovely smile.

Yum.

Dancing away, dance diddly dance, Throgmorton is doing a not-a-bad job of remembering all the moves crammed into the old brain-box.

Splendid.

And here comes the Flip-Flop: project out, right-to-right, and bring in - at this point I remember I'm wearing loose trousers and boxer shorts. How do I known this? Because Leslie's lovely, firm, rounded buttocks have just clenched themselves snugly, tightly and firmly each side of Mister Wibbly...

beat 3. Down and Up

eek

4. Down and Up

meep

5. project to the left

Time is beginning to slow down... Not enough for me to do anything about what's going, but long enough for Brain Command to panic at the realisation of what Trouser Command is beginning to think:

Trouser Command: "phwoor, yum"

Brain Command: "what do you mean 'yum'?"

TC: "I mean YUM, what else do you think I mean?"

BC: "But I know what you're like when you think 'yum'!"

TC: "ooh yeah, I'll say"

BC: "nooooooo..."

6. Bring back to the front - aaaand clench! Again!!

repeat 3. Down and Up

BC: "Arghhh no!!!" (as Trouser Command begins to get - how shall we say - 'a bit perky') "No! Down boy, down!"

TC: "Why?"

4. Down and Up

TC: "heh heh heh"

and as Leslie flips to the left again all my strangely sweating brow can now think is "NOO, it's going to happen a third time! And I can't stop it!!!"

But the funny thing is, there's no punchline to this story... With a deft flick of the hips Mister not-quite-so-Wibbly-any-more is placed harmlessly against Leslie's left bum-cheek and nothing was ever said. By either of us. Ever.

Never saw much of her again though :-(

Oh well.

I've done many things in the dance scene since then, but I'll never forget Leslie...